them: why are you tired? you’ve been lying down all day

me: *mental somersaults 24/7 dying inside resurrecting dying again fights urge to hurt self or hurl self out window struggling not to cry about everything horrible that always comes to mind thinks about FP hating and abandoning me tries not to hate existing in own body tries to understand why things in my head are so messy thinks about*

also me: idk I’m probably just lazy :^)